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Single-child families on the rise in Singapore

Started by The_king, Mar 02, 2025, 08:04 PM

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The_king

SINGAPORE - Educator and artist Hazel Lim has a 12-year-old daughter, Hanna. And she is one and done.

For Ms Lim and her husband, German educator and artist Andreas Schlegel, who are both 49, the decision to have just one child was shaped by the lack of familial support in childcare.

She said: "The challenges of raising a child without much help was a very big consideration in not wanting another child. By the time Hanna was five or six, I was already in my 40s and I didn't have so much energy."

Increasingly, more couples like her are choosing to forgo having a second kid for reasons such as preferring to devote more time and resources to their only child.

Another factor is that couples are marrying and having children later, and facing fertility issues when they decide to start a family.

In 2024, 25.1 per cent of resident ever-married women aged between 40 and 49 have one child. This is up from the 16.6 per cent in 2004 and 21.6 per cent in 2014.

Ever-married refers to those who are currently married, divorced or widowed.

The largest group of women at the end of their child-bearing years still have two children, according to the latest data for 2024 that was released on Feb 18. This is followed by those with just one child.

The proportion of those with no children doubled from 7.1 per cent in 2004 to 15 per cent in 2024, while the share of women with three or more children plunged from 33.5 per cent to 18 per cent over the same time period.

The latest statistics were released after Prime Minister Lawrence Wong announced during the Budget the Large Families Scheme to spur Singaporeans to have more children.

Under the new scheme, families will get up to $16,000 in additional support for each third and subsequent Singaporean child born on or after Feb 18.

For Ms Lim, financial considerations were not the reason behind her not wanting more kids.

"Bringing up a child is pretty difficult, and I don't have a lot of support in childcare," said Ms Lim, whose parents are dead.

"I just didn't have the energy to have more children."
Ms Hazel Lim-Schlegel, 49, her husband, Andreas Schlegel, 49, and daughter, Hanna Xin Schlegel, 12, at their home in Hougang on March 1, 2025.
For Ms Hazel Lim and her husband, German educator and artist Andreas Schlegel, the decision to have just one child was shaped by the lack of familial support in childcare.ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO

She hired a domestic helper for two years when her daughter was a toddler. After her helper left to get married, Ms Lim decided to go without paid help as she wanted to be a more hands-on parent.

Her older sister, who is single, helped her with caring for Hanna especially when the girl was younger, such as when the couple had to work late.

Ms Lim has concerns for her daughter as an only child. "Sometimes, I'm a bit worried if Hanna would be lonely or too needy on us."

She would arrange for play dates when Hanna was younger, and noted that her girl has grown up to be an independent child.

Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) senior research fellow Kalpana Vignehsa pointed out that many couples here are starved for time. They hold stressful full-time jobs, and raising children is like another full-time job.

She said: "As such, being 'one and done' seems to have become a happy medium for many couples.

"They get to experience the bounty of parenthood but don't feel they have the bandwidth for parenting more than one child."

Another IPS senior research fellow, Dr Tan Poh Lin, said the "educational arms race" may have deterred some parents from having a second child, so that they can devote more time and resources on their only child.

Some single-child couples are not closed to the idea of having more children.

Ms Gabrielle Tan, a 38-year-old assistant director in a university, wants to have a second child to give her son a sibling. Her son, Arthur, is now 10.
thchild Credit to Gabrielle Tan
Mr Edmond Lim, 40, and Ms Gabrielle Tan, 38, with their son 10-year-old son Arthur Lim.PHOTO: COURTESY OF GABRIELLE TAN

She tied the knot at 24. Her husband, Mr Edmond Lim, a senior regional marketing and partnerships lead in a multinational company, is two years her senior.

Ms Tan said her in-law's illnesses also reminded them of the critical role that siblings play in supporting each other as they look after their elderly parents. Her father-in-law died in 2020, a year after her mother-in-law.

Ms Tan is the youngest of four girls while her husband is the youngest of three sons.

She said: "It was helpful for my husband to have his brothers to discuss and share the caregiving responsibilities with. And that also made us think harder of having a second child."

So far, the couple have been unsuccessful in expanding their family. Ms Tan still hopes to have a second child, but it is no longer top-most on her mind, and she wants to focus on building her career now.

Dr Vignehsa noted that an only child would face a greater caregiving burden in future, looking after both parents on his or her own.

She added: "We should expect those only-children to be even more squeezed than the current sandwiched generations, unless new norms of care being supervised by non-family members take root."


https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/single-child-families-on-the-rise-in-singapore
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default

actually if dont want kids is ok if both agree. but a bit pointless?

both must contribute together and actually the child is usually the glue
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Only money is real

The_king

yes, even in the past   pg and mg era, this was the case
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default

Quote from: The_king on Mar 02, 2025, 08:41 PMyes, even in the past   pg and mg era, this was the case

im only child. hmm actually ya better to have another sibling but with the crazy costs of living if u start having 1 child now the estimate is alr 300k onwards
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toolatesnow

Quote from: default on Mar 02, 2025, 08:48 PMim only child. hmm actually ya better to have another sibling but with the crazy costs of living if u start having 1 child now the estimate is alr 300k onwards

always wished i had siblings. i really dont recommend being only child
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The_king

Quote from: default on Mar 02, 2025, 08:48 PMim only child. hmm actually ya better to have another sibling but with the crazy costs of living if u start having 1 child now the estimate is alr 300k onwards

either 2 kids or no kids at all
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no guessing game

Quote from: toolatesnow on Mar 02, 2025, 09:04 PMalways wished i had siblings. i really dont recommend being only child

Not all siblings are nice siblings. If have sibling rivalry like lky's family is gg.com :frown:


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