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Philipkee

Lai lai.  Say your piece here

For context I am referring to BGR, relationship between spouses and friends and colleagues

Don't say parent to child or superior to subordinate etc etc
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Philipkee

I start the ball rolling. If a girl says be direct, I suspect a trap  :s22:

encourageSome1

Quote from: Philipkee on Jan 25, 2025, 10:05 AMLai lai.  Say your piece here

For context I am referring to BGR, relationship between spouses and friends and colleagues

Don't say parent to child or superior to subordinate etc etc

Some men assume women alws drop hints and some women assume all men don't Tk hints
But vice versa also true : some women don't Tk any hint
Some men alws don't directly talk and enjoy dropping hints . Eg my pa ... he can drop anyth can knowing him all my life I can 80-90% guess it correctly within 3-10 sec
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encourageSome1

Quote from: Philipkee on Jan 25, 2025, 10:06 AMI start the ball rolling. If a girl says be direct, I suspect a trap  :s22:

For me ... if I ask someone what is it : I mean what I say
And mostly say what I mean... but life has it that sometimes I don't hv the right vocabulary

Or
are not in right state of mind
(Eg I just had a big fight over work processes and I go talk with someone then I m not in best shape ... I m in a pissed off and whyIsEveryoneNotPuttingTheirBestFoot mode and I feel quite indignant when I see somethg has to be done n ppl just lazy or complacent not to optimise it

Or
are not in best position to say something
Eg an elder does something which is not good nor appropriate
But as a younger gen I should zip my mouth cos I m not their mom or their wifey or closest person to say something ... I felt bad but hv to let it be. Got x % of helplessness 最准确 无奈😮�💨😮�💨but I chose to let it slide n continue affecting everyone
So I m feeling shit abt myself over  this

When I m in either of the 3 modes I guess when I talk it comes out more strongly than ever because I want to get to that point that ppl can understand and will do something about it because I want to mk change

Arctic


encourageSome1

Quote from: Arctic on Jan 25, 2025, 10:26 AMLong time no see Auntie wot!!!

Hello didi meimei
Yesterday I got ping u all in +ve thread a
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Philipkee

Quote from: encourageSome1 on Jan 25, 2025, 10:15 AMSome men assume women alws drop hints and some women assume all men don't Tk hints
But vice versa also true : some women don't Tk any hint
Some men alws don't directly talk and enjoy dropping hints . Eg my pa ... he can drop anyth can knowing him all my life I can 80-90% guess it correctly within 3-10 sec

Men sometimes get the wrong hint either deliberately or not

once a woman boss told me my idea is bad so please don't present it in the meeting tomorrow.  Heck keep low profile tomorrow

Got the hint.  Took an mc the next day

My colleagues laughed at it when I returned and asked if I got the wrong hint or I deliberately one and I laughed


Arctic

Men are simple creatures that's why they always have misunderstanding or misinterpret hints
If a praise come from a woman, the man will rmb it forever. May even misunderstood it as a hint

Philipkee

Quote from: Arctic on Jan 25, 2025, 11:01 AMMen are simple creatures that's why they always have misunderstanding or misinterpret hints
If a praise come from a woman, the man will rmb it forever. May even misunderstood it as a hint
Goes the other way

There was this joke (at least I hope it's a joke and not based on a true story) of a man who came back from work all silent.  Refused to talk to his wife, ate dinner silently and went to sleep in stony silence

Then the woman cried to herself, thinks the man has found and other woman, starts commiserating with friends and look up the for counsellors and divorce lawyers.

For the man, it only showed one thought. Man U lost to Liverpool.  Damn.

encourageSome1

Quote from: Arctic on Jan 25, 2025, 11:01 AMMen are simple creatures that's why they always have misunderstanding or misinterpret hints
If a praise come from a woman, the man will rmb it forever. May even misunderstood it as a hint

As a lkk usu I m the simple minded one and other ppl told me i misunderstood
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encourageSome1

Quote from: Philipkee on Jan 25, 2025, 11:14 AMGoes the other way

There was this joke (at least I hope it's a joke and not based on a true story) of a man who came back from work all silent.  Refused to talk to his wife, ate dinner silently and went to sleep in stony silence

Then the woman cried to herself, thinks the man has found and other woman, starts commiserating with friends and look up the for counsellors and divorce lawyers.

For the man, it only showed one thought. Man U lost to Liverpool.  Damn.

If me I d think he did shit at work or at lunch n somebody scolded him n he feeling bad over it ... give it 1/2-1 day to blow over .. just ignore na
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encourageSome1

Quote from: Arctic on Jan 25, 2025, 11:01 AMMen are simple creatures that's why they always have misunderstanding or misinterpret hints
If a praise come from a woman, the man will rmb it forever. May even misunderstood it as a hint

Usu I scold or reprimand privvily and applaud or praise publicly
This shd be it
Cos everyone wants their face n wants to look good
N
 everyone wants to think they r a good human

I scold publicly when human is refuse to change or v bad n he knows n refuse to grow or try his best


Philipkee

Quote from: encourageSome1 on Jan 25, 2025, 11:28 AMUsu I scold or reprimand privvily and applaud or praise publicly
This shd be it
Cos everyone wants their face n wants to look good
N
 everyone wants to think they r a good human

I scold publicly when human is refuse to change or v bad n he knows n refuse to grow or try his best

I think you should never scold anyone unless there is some form of danger in the other person's life or your life (maybe driving recklessly).  After all, all are adults.

IMHO, scolding is a way of asserting moral superiority over another person.  Talking nicely is ok

If talk nicely and the other person still never changes or ignores, then two options.

Either learn to ignore it / accept it or if it's so big, never talk to that person again

Of cos this refer to BGR la. If your subordinate or kid or student is like that it's a different issue
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