I thought I am prepared. I am still scared whenever he goes into difficulty in breathing. The sound of difficulty breathing haunts me.
Quote from: luckyapple on May 23, 2024, 11:06 PMI thought I am prepared. I am still scared whenever he goes into difficulty in breathing. The sound of difficulty breathing haunts me.
I think someone leaving our life is sthg we can't fully prepare for .. just like any other stage of life whether ourselves or other humans closest to us..
just try to make e best of what u can while he is around ... 🙏🏿🙏🏿and I hope u feel peace 🙏🏿amidst turbulent times and a whirlpool of uncertainty and mixed feelings ☹️🥺
Quote from: EncourageSome1 on May 23, 2024, 11:13 PMI think someone leaving our life is sthg we can't fully prepare for .. just like any other stage of life whether ourselves or other humans closest to us..
just try to make e best of what u can while he is around ... 🙏🏿🙏🏿and I hope u feel peace 🙏🏿amidst turbulent times and a whirlpool of uncertainty and mixed feelings ☹️🥺
Now I don't dare to go visit him. I don't dare to see the final moments.
Quote from: luckyapple on May 23, 2024, 11:18 PMNow I don't dare to go visit him. I don't dare to see the final moments.
I can only imagine ... whenever I think thoroughly abt if my folks were one day to pass on or passed on , I think I ll be eating tears many days or I ll really break into tears though my Pa isn't my top 20 fav humans
But I ll ask myself , which will bring him greater happiness/ peace at his last moment.. I will do it cos I m his kid . Of course this is at the pre condition u would like him to be at peace above your own need 🙏🏿no right or wrong .. u r the one continuing to live on after a parent were to pass on 🙏🏿🙏🏿☹️
Quote from: EncourageSome1 on May 23, 2024, 11:44 PMI can only imagine ... whenever I think thoroughly abt if my folks were one day to pass on or passed on , I think I ll be eating tears many days or I ll really break into tears though my Pa isn't my top 20 fav humans
But I ll ask myself , which will bring him greater happiness/ peace at his last moment.. I will do it cos I m his kid . Of course this is at the pre condition u would like him to be at peace above your own need 🙏🏿no right or wrong .. u r the one continuing to live on after a parent were to pass on 🙏🏿🙏🏿☹️
I dunno what to think. But we played quite a lot of mahjong with him recently.
Everytime I killed ants. Things seems to gotten worse
Quote from: luckyapple on May 24, 2024, 07:18 AMEverytime I killed ants. Things seems to gotten worse
Why? What makes you say so
Quote from: PP the FORTUNE God on May 24, 2024, 07:28 AMWhy? What makes you say so
i just feel whenever i killed ants, something worse happened to my Dad.
No such thing la... dont anyhw tbink
We can nvr be prepared for loved one death. Everyone has expiry date. Just spend more time & think about soon he will be joining his parents & those tat passed away b4 him. Soon will be our turn to join too. When we join them, we will want to be able to face them with no shame.
Quote from: luckyapple on May 23, 2024, 11:18 PMNow I don't dare to go visit him. I don't dare to see the final moments.
on the contrary, u should spend as much time as possible with him
in the last few months of my dad life, we spent so much time together
Quote from: daryl76 on May 24, 2024, 09:31 AMon the contrary, u should spend as much time as possible with him
in the last few months of my dad life, we spent so much time together
@luckyapple Agree with this. You should visit your dad as much as possible.
Don't be like me, never get to be by my dad's side during his last moments then until now still regret.
Quote from: ABCDFinanceGuy on May 24, 2024, 07:01 PM@luckyapple Agree with this. You should visit your dad as much as possible.
Don't be like me, never get to be by my dad's side during his last moments then until now still regret.
i am amazed too, i stopped working totally just to bring him for check up, medical appt etc
go have lunch together like never done before for a long long time, chat over coffee
i believe the time we spent during those months far exceeds the previous yrs prior to that
Quote from: daryl76 on May 24, 2024, 08:14 PMi am amazed too, i stopped working totally just to bring him for check up, medical appt etc
go have lunch together like never done before for a long long time, chat over coffee
i believe the time we spent during those months far exceeds the previous yrs prior to that
Quote from: ABCDFinanceGuy on May 24, 2024, 07:01 PM@luckyapple Agree with this. You should visit your dad as much as possible.
Don't be like me, never get to be by my dad's side during his last moments then until now still regret.
I understand, I also brought him to many appointments and to boonkeng hawker to eat quite often nowadays. Started playing mahjong with him 2 weeks ago, a game that he enjoyed very much. Just now told him come back soon and played mahjong again.
when u r at my stage. u will embrace death :look:
Quote from: luckyapple on May 24, 2024, 08:41 PMI understand, I also brought him to many appointments and to boonkeng hawker to eat quite often nowadays. Started playing mahjong with him 2 weeks ago, a game that he enjoyed very much. Just now told him come back soon and played mahjong again.
the other elders in my extended family told me, just let him do what he wants, eat what he likes, go where he feels like
the night before he left, we went to celebrate fathers day with him, the food we bought him still in the house but at least we know we spent as much time as possible with him
Quote from: Bardiel on May 24, 2024, 10:39 PMwhen u r at my stage. u will embrace death :look:
Bardiel kor how r u?
Can understand how u feel. It's a very scary thought and a very bad feeling when someone close passes away. Stay strong sis
Quote from: luckyapple on May 24, 2024, 11:23 PMBardiel kor how r u?
harlow.
still doing "ok". waiting for the transplant committee to approve the transplant.
mentally and physically sibeh shag liao. mah jiam living on the edge
Quote from: Bardiel on May 25, 2024, 11:00 AMharlow.
still doing "ok". waiting for the transplant committee to approve the transplant.
mentally and physically sibeh shag liao. mah jiam living on the edge
I get what u mean bro. Jia you jia you.
Quote from: Tony.Manero on May 25, 2024, 10:24 AMCan understand how u feel. It's a very scary thought and a very bad feeling when someone close passes away. Stay strong sis
Thank you Tony kor. I drop many hair recently
Quote from: Bardiel on May 25, 2024, 11:00 AMharlow.
still doing "ok". waiting for the transplant committee to approve the transplant.
mentally and physically sibeh shag liao. mah jiam living on the edge
U have family members supporting u?
Quote from: default on May 25, 2024, 12:31 PMU have family members supporting u?
actually only my gf.
as per 1 of my thread at the housing sub forum, i disowned my dad as of 2 years ago. so ya. kinda shag hanging on.
anyway for those who think of death or etc. i just want to say don go and think so much. enjoy every single moment and don regret
Quote from: Bardiel on May 25, 2024, 01:05 PMactually only my gf.
as per 1 of my thread at the housing sub forum, i disowned my dad as of 2 years ago. so ya. kinda shag hanging on.
anyway for those who think of death or etc. i just want to say don go and think so much. enjoy every single moment and don regret
Rly pointless to think. But we often cant stop ourselves from thinking
Im more of worrier more so than others but lets try to think less
Quote from: default on May 25, 2024, 05:56 PMRly pointless to think. But we often cant stop ourselves from thinking
Im more of worrier more so than others but lets try to think less
u can worry for something if u can change the outcome
if the outcome cannot be changed. don go and worry. Always look on the bright side of life. even though coming from a half past dead person like me :s13:
Quote from: Bardiel on May 25, 2024, 06:29 PMu can worry for something if u can change the outcome
if the outcome cannot be changed. don go and worry. Always look on the bright side of life. even though coming from a half past dead person like me :s13:
u know hor recently i went to a bazi master. he said i am a worrier and i can foresee things quite zhun. but since i cant change the outcome it makes it worse. then he says people look to me for confidence and support, yet when they fix their issues liao they nv care about me (in terms of job and other things)
very true. if positive wise i see ppty or stock will go up, no money to buy also lan lan
if negative u foresee something will happen but u cant prevent it also lan lan
all the above quite true... some of all these fengshui/bazi more of confirming my thoughts... he told me to be positive and confident then can help others and myself
i think ure mentally stronger than me for sure, jiayou, we will support u. feel free to msg or anything if u need help!
chiu all should really face this thing..
prepare next step.. ask them prepare photo
ask them wat they prefer scatter . put in urn or put in temple etc
here should also can discuss how much is the package and compare price
discuss with them wat to do when really pass on.
can discuss here asl well
compare package, which undertaker better, etc
have to deal with it one day, might as well do what they prefer if they still here so can ask them
:frown:
In my experience in nursing, there are generally 4 kinds of deaths
Sudden death
This is the one that can drive people crazy. One moment your loved one is watching tv and then suddenly look at you and keel over and die. This one is the most traumatic. Suicides can also be here. No one can prepare for it
Sudden long term death
Means the same scenario as above but the person got revived and suffered a while in icu before dying. It's also traumatic but people can learn to let go
Death by illness*
Let's say cancer. There will be a long time before the death so unlike the previous two scenarios, there is adequate time for acceptance and closure. Usually it's not so bad.
The "happy death"
Weirdly I encountered this one. I mean as I understood the situation I kind of understood but it felt weird. Someone was over 100 years old when she passed and the family was like "happy". Maybe cos she lived to 100 years old already so it was a blessing, I don't know but I kind of understood why they were "happy" but still felt weird
*there was one case of death by illness that kind of haunted me for a while. The patient was a foreigner and as he deteriorated, he kept saying he wanted to go home to his family but his family was uncontactable (they lived in a village) and the embassy couldn't help. This was decades ago when not many things were online. He died alone and the last few words he spoke to me before my shift ended (he died during the next shift) was that he wanted to go home