Vietbu as wives from agency

[Philipkee]

These past few years, I have the fortunate or unfortunate chance of learning a lot about getting vietnamese wives from agency.  So I thought I will share some of the experience here.

The minimum salary requirement by Bng.  Think it's $4500 a month or something.  This is something I agree with though I am not sure if it should be something announced on Facebook or told to the guys privately.  Reason is I see the rationale for the income level but I think it also means that females who apply to be at his agency also know that men from his agency has this minimum k come and might attract gold diggers .  So I agree with his action though I think it should be told privately - then again with social media, what is private will soon be public.

Disclaimer.  I know the guy in charge personally and as a client and vice versa.  I do have agreements and disagreements with him so I try to be neutral

[Philipkee]

I ever met someone I was matched with.  Not Bng but another agency.  Yes I got a few.  So anyway I met up with this vietbu and I know we won't end up and vice versa but we had a good heart to heart talk on expectations and reasons for them.  What she said was enlightening

Vietbus generally expect the man the hand over the salary and she gives the man the allowance.  The reason is if you just give her an allowance, how different is she from a maid as opposed to a trusted wife?  And it's their culture to do so anyway.  I told her that this was not done in Singapore.  And she also understood this fact though it doesn't mean she will revise her expectations.  Just that she sees my point of view

Why they want the husband to support their kampung?  Cos while she is here supporting OUR kampung, she expects the favour to be repaid by the husband.  That is why she wants to go back often, needs money....

Why is everything about money?  Cos she is here in a way for money.  To get someone to support her family.  Otherwise why come from so far to get married?  And if no money, what happens if the husband runs away?  Where is her exit?  I thought it was wise to remain silent on the woman charter lol

I then shared that maybe a lot of problems would not be there is she were a vietnamese marrying a Vietnamese in Vietnam or I married a Singaporean in Singapore.

It was a very long talk but I think I learned a lot and vice versa

[Philipkee]

I met another agent who kept trying to match me with other girls but not successful.  Feels like he is just throwing people at me and hope one sticks

I disagree with this method but I keep quiet cos I don't know how effective it is actually. 

How can I afford so many agents is cos most charge money only upon a successful match (beyond a deposit).  And my experience is over a long period and not simultaneously

I am getting resigned to the fact that I might be the first person who cannot get a successful match despite multiple agents looking for me

[Philipkee]

I ever met someone I was matched with.  Not Bng but another agency.  Yes I got a few.  So anyway I met up with this vietbu and I know we won't end up and vice versa but we had a good heart to heart talk on expectations and reasons for them.  What she said was enlightening

Vietbus generally expect the man the hand over the salary and she gives the man the allowance.  The reason is if you just give her an allowance, how different is she from a maid as opposed to a trusted wife?  And it's their culture to do so anyway.  I told her that this was not done in Singapore.  And she also understood this fact though it doesn't mean she will revise her expectations.  Just that she sees my point of view

Why they want the husband to support their kampung?  Cos while she is here supporting OUR kampung, she expects the favour to be repaid by the husband.  That is why she wants to go back often, needs money....

Why is everything about money?  Cos she is here in a way for money.  To get someone to support her family.  Otherwise why come from so far to get married?  And if no money, what happens if the husband runs away?  Where is her exit?  I thought it was wise to remain silent on the woman charter lol

I then shared that maybe a lot of problems would not be there is she were a vietnamese marrying a Vietnamese in Vietnam or I married a Singaporean in Singapore.

It was a very long talk but I think I learned a lot and vice versa

And these are the sincere ones, not the gold diggers who marry and run away.  These are the ones who really want to marry and take care of the husband

And context is those matched by bridal agency.  If you met a Vietnamese while working in Singapore, it will be a different experience

[default]

Thanks for sharing ur exp. Rly a wonderful read... will reply later in the day when i get the time

[炎杀黑龙波]

I ever met someone I was matched with.  Not Bng but another agency.  Yes I got a few.  So anyway I met up with this vietbu and I know we won't end up and vice versa but we had a good heart to heart talk on expectations and reasons for them.  What she said was enlightening

Vietbus generally expect the man the hand over the salary and she gives the man the allowance.  The reason is if you just give her an allowance, how different is she from a maid as opposed to a trusted wife?  And it's their culture to do so anyway.  I told her that this was not done in Singapore.  And she also understood this fact though it doesn't mean she will revise her expectations.  Just that she sees my point of view

Why they want the husband to support their kampung?  Cos while she is here supporting OUR kampung, she expects the favour to be repaid by the husband.  That is why she wants to go back often, needs money....

Why is everything about money?  Cos she is here in a way for money.  To get someone to support her family.  Otherwise why come from so far to get married?  And if no money, what happens if the husband runs away?  Where is her exit?  I thought it was wise to remain silent on the woman charter lol

I then shared that maybe a lot of problems would not be there is she were a vietnamese marrying a Vietnamese in Vietnam or I married a Singaporean in Singapore.

It was a very long talk but I think I learned a lot and vice versa

Alot of red flag here imo, here for money, need money to feed village, is it really safe to give full control of money?

[Tony.Manero]

Unless you look above average, she will always be marrying u for marnee.

Anyway, how chio are they in general? Average or above average?

[Philipkee]

Alot of red flag here imo, here for money, need money to feed village, is it really safe to give full control of money?

Yes and no.

Yes it is very risky and unsafe.  But if you feel it's really unsafe, then why go go a bridal agency bride?

I am not against her or for her.  I was just matched with her and we had a heart to heart talk.  I know she was not for me and vice versa but yes, a heart to heart talk will let me know their way of thinking and how I can avoid certain pitfalls.

And if it's really unacceptable or we can't meet halfway, then don't marry a foreign bride from agency. 

A lot of people don't have these heart to heart talks so when they marry they get shocked

[Philipkee]

Unless you look above average, she will always be marrying u for marnee.

Anyway, how chio are they in general? Average or above average?

Mixed bag.  Some are chio, some are average but it really depends on who you get but usually you have the photo beforehand so you usually meet the chio ones unless you choose an "ugly" one.

[Arctic]

Philip, thanks for sharing. What's your age range?

Marriage has always been a transactional affair, whatmore it's via matchmake

[Philipkee]

A lot of people say language barrier is an issue.  I won't disagree but it's a self inflicted barrier.

Cos before you are matched, you know her language proficiency and during the first meetup, you also know it.  If you can't take the barrier, you have the right to drop the lady and vice versa.  If you choose to risk it, why complain later about it?

Verbal communication is very important.  A lot of people communicate via messaging apps but a lot of times, it could be google translate which result in misunderstandings due to wrong translation.  And in a critical moment of discussion, you will want to talk and reply instead of furiously typing after reading.  A lot of information can be gotten via non verbal cues which is ONLY gotten in face to face verbal communication.  I can be super mad and suspicious at you and put a smiling emoji but it won't happen if I am verbally talking to you

[Philipkee]

Philip, thanks for sharing. What's your age range?

Marriage has always been a transactional affair, whatmore it's via matchmake

About 45

[Philipkee]

Philip, thanks for sharing. What's your age range?

Marriage has always been a transactional affair, whatmore it's via matchmake

That's why I am mentally preparing myself to just remain single liao

[Arctic]

That's why I am mentally preparing myself to just remain single liao

Sadly I have to agree. Not to be wet blanket but those women from matchmake agencies are normally very young.....and you are 45yo

[Philipkee]

Sadly I have to agree. Not to be wet blanket but those women from matchmake agencies are normally very young.....and you are 45yo

Actually not true.  There are some in the 30s but yes, they are few

In a way, it's a very practical thing.

They come with their asset - youth and beauty

We come with our asset - money

So while we can argue they crave our cash, it can be argued we crave their beauty