Want to get it off my chest altho i got tell a few closer friends.
They were my mums cousins born in sg. My mum and her sis born in china came over in 50s. Got another bro also passed due to cancer >40 yrs ago.
My mum is a nice easy to get along with person. But not like the level of go help everyone but she got help friends and family... back in 1960s, 70s they had like 2 shops at peoples park
One owned by the cousins father. One by my maternal grandfather. My grandpa better at doing biz while the grand uncle not good at biz always talk abt politics, watch boxing whatever no interest to run biz so my grandpa and mum and younger sis helped their cousins out sometimes with food and money and their education
Quote from: default on Mar 01, 2025, 04:07 PMWant to get it off my chest altho i got tell a few closer friends.
They were my mums cousins born in sg. My mum and her sis born in china came over in 50s. Got another bro also passed due to cancer >40 yrs ago.
My mum is a nice easy to get along with person. But not like the level of go help everyone but she got help friends and family... back in 1960s, 70s they had like 2 shops at peoples park
One owned by the cousins father. One by my maternal grandfather. My grandpa better at doing biz while the grand uncle not good at biz always talk abt politics, watch boxing whatever no interest to run biz so my grandpa and mum and younger sis helped their cousins out sometimes with food and money and their education
this kind nevermind one la.. moi dun even see moi mum cousins.. only see once or twice in moi life. if see again now moi dun even know who is who
:flash:
My mum took care of the younger bro who passed on due to cancer. My mum nv told me this. I did heart to heart talk to her many yrs ago she talk a bit then cried. I didnt know the details until her cousins told me the details when my mum was hospitalized in sgh due to op due to lung cancer.
My mum doesnt smoke drink or eat unhealthily. In fact she seemed to be getting fitter and got exercise. But one time she went to do those polyclinic checkup she was given clean bill of health then dr asked her if she felt anything... my mum said she was getting thinner in recent mths
Then do more tests found out is stage 1 lung cancer. After that then found out is 2A after the surgery and all shit that came after. Dr advised surgery which we stupidly took up and resulted in her death. 100 days in hospital icu. Suffered tremendously. If nv go for op just take meds super high chance she will live at least a few more yrs. Be alive today or full remission.
Coz she responded to targeted therapy with few detrimental side effects. Only lao sai and nth else like bad appetite, vomiting or losing hair. But the targeted therapy that time was not covered by govt so they made us sign some agreement to be guinea pig so the targeted therapy treatment can be free for a few mths to shrink the tumour then afterwards go for their recommended op. She did 2 ops. First op went fine but she lost her voice.
At that time i was in between jobs and dad retired. So my mum didnt want to do an injection to get her voice back coz it costs like 500+ or more.
She was a v strong lady... my aunts told me she didnt even wince during the injection when everyone else would scream and cry etc
Anyway i rly wasnt filial or a good son tbh. If got chance will say abt it.
The doctors anyhow recommended surgery incl the second one that led to recurrent infections that killed my mum. For that op they say is like 2 to 5% risk or sth like that. They nv give us full details and we trusted the dr too much i didnt fully research. Even research also no use tbh.
Its like telling u to bet on man utd sure win. The thinking of 95 to 98% success is bull fucking shit
My mum also got a younger sis i mentioned above. Also born in china but her cousins all born in sg.
The younger sis was nice also but after my grandparents passed on in 2000 she 霸占 all my grandparents gold, money and whatever relics they brought over from china. Includes my late uncles stamp collection and also some things like 官印
My that aunt did treat me well but her husband(my 姨仗 was a total asshole. Hes good to family but is those humji dog. He 挑拨离间 my grandma to hate my father who is lowly educated. My dad is a super nice person well loved by neighbours, friends and most people.
Then they usurped the peoples park biz when my parents got the lot to run the biz. But my parents also not interested to run the biz so when my aunt(mums blood sis) cry and threw tantrum, my parents gave the biz to them and took the flat at jalan kukoh)
Earlier i mentioned i got a grand uncle. He also owned like 1 unit at peoples park. Last time that place doing booming biz during 70s. 1 cny my mum told me can buy their hdb at jalan kukoh and a second hand car liao. So grand uncles wife( grand aunt) closer to my mum and father and helped to speak up for them when bullied by my mums younger sis. My mum is eldest la...
But coz of that my maternal grandmother disliked her.
Anyway pause a while. My mum was caregiver for her younger bro before he passed on. My uncle was v good looking but i nv see him before... only in pictures. Smart and know how to run biz also.
My mum always felt sad when i asked her. So when older liao nv ask. Heard once he climbed to the peoples park market and wanted to jump. Until my second aunt quickly ran up and pleaded him to get down when shop neighbours informed them
That second aunt (blood sis) of my mum, her husband the 姨仗 bullied me when he couldnt touch my father. He scolded me and took things out on me on a trip to star cruise. Said shit abt me to my grandma when i nv requested to go on the trip. It was 1994 my dad was diagnosed with kidney issues.
My parents felt i nv go overseas before so when my grandma asked me to join my parents said ok. I nv asked for or wanted to go on the trip. It was star cruise then when we got down i wanted to get stamp for souvenir he got angry and scolded me when i nv even throw tantrum or behaved badly.
Since young i always kena bullied hence when i grew older i always stood up for my parents, myself and people i feel less privileged. I cannot stand scums but this also caused me to make enemies.
I never wanted or felt conformed to society so i nv wanted to work for govt or mncs
Type more later. Suddenly feel like typing my life story
Every family got their own problems but let it all out bro
Nobody know you irl and nobody gonna judge
Relatives are mother fucker troubles. Cut contact from the nonsense. Very ez to cut what's so difficult. See them one time whack one time. Respect elderly ran jiao!
家家有本难念的经
paiseh just now took some sedatives so blabber out
ok dont feel like typing liao
basically TLDR.......... they blamed me for my mum's passing. then when their mum (grand aunt called), i told her off, saying her son owes my mum money
then my aunts felt i 忘恩负义 since they lent me a sum of money and got help my mum. but they say my mum always helped them in the past
then when my grand aunt died they nv bother to inform me.
my father's side same all scums.... i just wish to be able to win them someday... which is close to impossible.
that's all, let this thread drop
Quote from: default on Mar 01, 2025, 07:38 PMpaiseh just now took some sedatives so blabber out
ok dont feel like typing liao
basically TLDR.......... they blamed me for my mum's passing. then when their mum (grand aunt called), i told her off, saying her son owes my mum money
then my aunts felt i 忘恩负义 since they lent me a sum of money and got help my mum. but they say my mum always helped them in the past
then when my grand aunt died they nv bother to inform me.
my father's side same all scums.... i just wish to be able to win them someday... which is close to impossible.
that's all, let this thread drop
Ranjiao! U say drop jiu drop! Let's stor big big!where your father relative stay?
Quote from: Magical Fingertip on Mar 01, 2025, 07:56 PMRanjiao! U say drop jiu drop! Let's stor big big!where your father relative stay?
my father relatives all super rich one. one is a meiji higher mgt. 1 is a SIA senior exec (on website)
mum side all v satki also, 1 dr, 1 SAFOS scholar and others doing well also except me
knn at least i am admin of TCL right?!
Quote from: default on Mar 01, 2025, 08:34 PMmy father relatives all super rich one. one is a meiji higher mgt. 1 is a SIA senior exec (on website)
mum side all v satki also, 1 dr, 1 SAFOS scholar and others doing well also except me
knn at least i am admin of TCL right?!
Bro u also not bad ma supervisor of several bangalas. boycott meiji and sia and saf
toxic relatives
dun keep in touch also good
i have several relatives who have alot of misunderstandings abt us, never invite us for any gatherings, not even cny
Quote from: Magical Fingertip on Mar 01, 2025, 10:03 PMBro u also not bad ma supervisor of several bangalas. boycott meiji and sia and saf
i not supervisor i help them dabao 便当 only
your parents era business and shops is like ai in today's era..
asian collectivism culture persists but we create our own meaning in life rather than being defined by family or societal expectations
i every cny no 拜年 one
Quote from: toolatesnow on Mar 01, 2025, 10:25 PMi every cny no 拜年 one
now my father side come over only. coz to haolian their chewren and their properties la
u know now we cannot buy this and that, their time >10 yrs ago smlj govt also help them
Quote from: default on Mar 01, 2025, 07:38 PMpaiseh just now took some sedatives so blabber out
ok dont feel like typing liao
basically TLDR.......... they blamed me for my mum's passing. then when their mum (grand aunt called), i told her off, saying her son owes my mum money
then my aunts felt i 忘恩负义 since they lent me a sum of money and got help my mum. but they say my mum always helped them in the past
then when my grand aunt died they nv bother to inform me.
my father's side same all scums.... i just wish to be able to win them someday... which is close to impossible.
that's all, let this thread drop
Just cut excommunicate with them rah. For me i already did that to some of moi mother side relatives too.
Sorry about the loss of your mum that seems like a good siblings to her side of family.
It's hard to get along with relatives. Same here. I also learnt not everyone remember help given when in need & reciprocate the help back if needed. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just help those (like your old man neighbour) that are appreciative & make sure you yourself live a happy life.
chinese relationships are usually tougher. i think it is cos of the competitive nature and the tough environment that they grew up in.
relatives that are jialat are better off not having.
they cannot help in anything but will just gossip among their own.
My mum also fell out with her step sister over very petty things. Basically, her step sister felt that she looked down on her. So stopped communications for many years. My aunt is very pro PAP, long time volunteer.