You guys have them?
Esp in the 40s when some of them lose their jobs, have to look after aging parents, kids... or at a crossroads of their career, not knowing to do the same job and risk being retrenched/skill redundant due to AI... or doing something else with lower pay?
Mid 30s already feel the midlife crisis
Heng I'm bbfa. Nearly got married in the past
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 11:09 AMMid 30s already feel the midlife crisis
Heng I'm bbfa. Nearly got married in the past
Now do u feel u wish u got married?
U got siblings boh?
However I see half of my peers dun really care. Maybe they think they will maintain status quo or do even better in future and bad stuff won't happen to them
I do also have at least a dozen of married frens who are DINKs, so at least any midlife crisis won't affect them as hard
AI/IT is a fucking game changer. Now my side all talk abt all these data, ai, analytics, rpa, gen AI, bots blah blah and all the shits
Quote from: default on Jan 07, 2025, 11:11 AMNow do u feel u wish u got married?
U got siblings boh?
Not going to lie, sometimes do feel lonely lah. Frens and money can't fill thst void
Yup have siblings and they have children so carry on the family line already settled haha
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 11:09 AMMid 30s already feel the midlife crisis
Heng I'm bbfa. Nearly got married in the past
What sort of crisis you have?
I have a friend who realises that his skill is becoming redundant due to AI, and his folks suddenly have illnesses, so he is now facing pressure to have a fulltime job. He also has a young son.
Two other friends looking for jobs cos they have been doing the same job for many years and are stuck in it.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 11:14 AMWhat sort of crisis you have?
I have a friend who realises that his skill is becoming redundant due to AI, and his folks suddenly have illnesses, so he is now facing pressure to have a fulltime job. He also has a young son.
Two other friends looking for jobs cos they have been doing the same job for many years and are stuck in it.
Feel empty in life loh. Have to repeat daily grind for next few decades for duno who and duno what. Go travel, eat atas food, buy branded also meaningless
Misfortune can be fall anyone at anytime, so dun be too complacent.
Wah your fren is single parent and not working full time? That's tough
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 11:18 AMFeel empty in life loh. Have to repeat daily grind for next few decades for duno who and duno what. Go travel, eat atas food, buy branded also meaningless
Misfortune can be fall anyone at anytime, so dun be too complacent.
Wah your fren is single parent and not working full time? That's tough
Go dating apps then. Very common now.
He has a wife who is working. But he is suffering mentally also because he did not want fatherhood, and suddenly found himself with more responsibilties that he was not ready for. And the wife depends on him to look after the kid as he is better at it.
He used to run a small firm doing website design and digital stuff, then closed it down and doing it freelance ever since.
Guess it was ok then but now that his parents are ill, the pressure hits him.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 11:28 AMGo dating apps then. Very common now.
He has a wife who is working. But he is suffering mentally also because he did not want fatherhood, and suddenly found himself with more responsibilties that he was not ready for. And the wife depends on him to look after the kid as he is better at it.
He used to run a small firm doing website design and digital stuff, then closed it down and doing it freelance ever since.
Guess it was ok then but now that his parents are ill, the pressure hits him.
It's not just about finding a partner. I also gave up on finding significant other already
Oh man.... Sudden fatherhood. That's terrible. He will have to do his duty for the next 20+ yrs at least til his child grad from uni
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 11:14 AMWhat sort of crisis you have?
I have a friend who realises that his skill is becoming redundant due to AI, and his folks suddenly have illnesses, so he is now facing pressure to have a fulltime job. He also has a young son.
Two other friends looking for jobs cos they have been doing the same job for many years and are stuck in it.
Am i right to say this equivalent to lie flat? The illusion of i have a job im a useful person compare to those lie flat.
But actually my skill never change at all been doing the same job for many years
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 11:44 AMIt's not just about finding a partner. I also gave up on finding significant other already
Oh man.... Sudden fatherhood. That's terrible. He will have to do his duty for the next 20+ yrs at least til his child grad from uni
I know what you mean. Even finding a suitable partner depends a lot on luck, not easy at all. A lot more issues if get the wrong one.
I have a few friends who think that they married the wrong person.
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 11:52 AMAm i right to say this equivalent to lie flat? The illusion of i have a job im a useful person compare to those lie flat.
But actually my skill never change at all been doing the same job for many years
More like quiet quitting
Isn't most ppl the same? Bogged down by family at 30s and later, even if bbfa, as one aged, definitely will be slower to pick up new stuff. However, capitalist society expect us to be better in all areas as one become older
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 11:52 AMAm i right to say this equivalent to lie flat? The illusion of i have a job im a useful person compare to those lie flat.
But actually my skill never change at all been doing the same job for many years
I guess in a way it is like lie flat? But I think both of them having pressures at work. Both not valued. And I think the boss of one of them is waiting for him to leave so that he can restructure the department. Thankfully he is working in some sort of quasi gov place and he has been there for many years so quite difficult to retrench him.
At the same time, he being there for what, close to a decade, has made him much less employable. He could not find other jobs even though he has applied.
The other one also looking for other jobs for a while cos I think he don't think he can stay very long in this job.
I guess for you it is ok if your current job is stable and your skillset is still valued for the next five ten years?
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 11:57 AMI know what you mean. Even finding a suitable partner depends a lot on luck, not easy at all. A lot more issues if get the wrong one.
I have a few friends who think that they married the wrong person.
Very common actually. I observed the same in my circle
Else just ppl watch couples on the streets especially those married ones. Many soulless couples
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 11:58 AMMore like quiet quitting
Isn't most ppl the same? Bogged down by family at 30s and later, even if bbfa, as one aged, definitely will be slower to pick up new stuff. However, capitalist society expect us to be better in all areas as one become older
yeah and then as your salary and age increase, and your ability to put more effort and time at work decreases due to family commitments, the company will start looking at younger folks with lesser pay.
worse is if your skillset and experience are not as valued or are quite easy to find in many job seekers.
Successful career is part of "life's luck" predestined i believe can't force one
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 12:11 PMSuccessful career is part of "life's luck" predestined i believe can't force one
Life itself is largely dependent on luck
i agree, luck plays a huge part. who you meet (that can help you), who your boss is, the company you work in, the department you are in... all play a role in how you do in life.
and you cannot choose a lot of those things.
you may not be very good at what you do, but if you are under the right boss or company you may just do very well.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 12:32 PMi agree, luck plays a huge part. who you meet (that can help you), who your boss is, the company you work in, the department you are in... all play a role in how you do in life.
and you cannot choose a lot of those things.
you may not be very good at what you do, but if you are under the right boss or company you may just do very well.
Like u will be very successful in corporate life no do business de ming. I got one uncle is like this
He go see ba zi the master told him this but he never tell him how high his post what he do for a living
He is a evil serpent very high post but due to his lack of education already max hit ceiling. If he study high i think he top position liao.
But he go do business sure bankrupt.
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 01:30 PMLike u will be very successful in corporate life no do business de ming. I got one uncle is like this
He go see ba zi the master told him this but he never tell him how high his post what he do for a living
He is a evil serpent very high post but due to his lack of education already max hit ceiling. If he study high i think he top position liao.
But he go do business sure bankrupt.
how can no education hit high post as a civil serpent? your uncle must be quite old, and yeah, very lucky. right place, right time.
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 12:11 PMSuccessful career is part of "life's luck" predestined i believe can't force one
Hmm i like that u admit to this.
Many people feel its their capability and whatnot but thats not the only factor. Even for billionaires a lot are due to luck and opportunity.
Of course need to learn things and make right decisions etc. But in absence of luck, which includes benefactors incl parents and how smart u are, ur circle of friends etc... more than likely will just be avg or even below avg because moving up is way harder than moving down
I went to master they say my life lack fire. And if do biz must do related with fire, like food, entertainment, teaching, oil, gas, electricity... even internet and computing they consider somewhat as fire.
They also say other things related to my current path
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 01:34 PMhow can no education hit high post as a civil serpent? your uncle must be quite old, and yeah, very lucky. right place, right time.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 01:34 PMhow can no education hit high post as a civil serpent? your uncle must be quite old, and yeah, very lucky. right place, right time.
Can see his interpersonal skills very good. It's inept. Destined to succeed as corporate slave
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 01:34 PMhow can no education hit high post as a civil serpent? your uncle must be quite old, and yeah, very lucky. right place, right time.
Old Cs system O level can be in division 1 liao
After intro scholar system then become elitist
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 03:23 PMOld Cs system O level can be in division 1 liao
After intro scholar system then become elitist
well i guess those older generation if can have 'O' levels and above should be able to lead a decent life, esp if you choose to work in the civil service.
now degree also will hentataki.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 03:29 PMwell i guess those older generation if can have 'O' levels and above should be able to lead a decent life, esp if you choose to work in the civil service.
now degree also will hentataki.
But last time Cs not well paid, iron bowl thou
Now is well paid, work life balance etc but no longer iron rice bowl. Many contract based
I'm no expert but sg is too focused on degree and white collar jobs. In the end too many degree mills and low paying white collar jobs and totally disregarding blue collar jobs which imo is also impt
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 03:57 PMBut last time Cs not well paid, iron bowl thou
Now is well paid, work life balance etc but no longer iron rice bowl. Many contract based
I'm no expert but sg is too focused on degree and white collar jobs. In the end too many degree mills and low paying white collar jobs and totally disregarding blue collar jobs which imo is also impt
tell next generation ceca begree same as sg begree.. huai study so much
actually gotch one loop hole... go ceca study loh koon cum back here be loh koon since loh koon hard to get in in sg
:flash:
Quote from: jim889 on Jan 07, 2025, 05:26 PMtell next generation ceca begree same as sg begree.. huai study so much
actually gotch one loop hole... go ceca study loh koon cum back here be loh koon since loh koon hard to get in in sg
:flash:
No wor sinkie go ceca get degree come back vs south Asian with ceca degree come here the local hr here will judge u differently wor.
hr here will be sinkies pawn sinkie scrutinize from psle til uni cert
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 06:01 PMNo wor sinkie go ceca get degree come back vs south Asian with ceca degree come here the local hr here will judge u differently wor.
hr here will be sinkies pawn sinkie scrutinize from psle til uni cert
uptron moar valuable than ntu/nus
:flash:
Quote from: jim889 on Jan 07, 2025, 05:26 PMtell next generation ceca begree same as sg begree.. huai study so much
actually gotch one loop hole... go ceca study loh koon cum back here be loh koon since loh koon hard to get in in sg
:flash:
Might as well migrate to India and come back as expat
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 06:45 PMMight as well migrate to India and come back as expat
Sinkie hr will continue the pawn sinkie tradition ask "why u migrate then now decide to come back?"
My friend damn stressed. Having nervous breakdowns and spoke about killing himself
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 07:47 PMMy friend damn stressed. Having nervous breakdowns and spoke about killing himself
Wa if i hedge such friend i also damn stress. If my friend open mouth want borrow money from my i dunno how to reject him
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 07:47 PMMy friend damn stressed. Having nervous breakdowns and spoke about killing himself
hmm i got friends telling me that too
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 08:44 PMWa if i hedge such friend i also damn stress. If my friend open mouth want borrow money from my i dunno how to reject him
bro i dont feel like living anymore... can borrow me some money
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 08:44 PMWa if i hedge such friend i also damn stress. If my friend open mouth want borrow money from my i dunno how to reject him
I guess can lend if the friend is really desperate and you can afford to lose the loan amount.
Quote from: default on Jan 07, 2025, 08:50 PMbro i dont feel like living anymore... can borrow me some money
This one can reject mai ke ki. Do i look like a ask to u
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 09:36 PMThis one can reject mai ke ki. Do i look like a ask to u
yes.
Actually dont knw which is better
Quote from: default on Jan 07, 2025, 10:21 PMActually dont knw which is better
Better what? No head no tail
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 07, 2025, 07:47 PMMy friend damn stressed. Having nervous breakdowns and spoke about killing himself
Already lost 2 of my close buddies to suicide. 1 happened just last yr
Both din ask to borrow money thou, troubled by other issues
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 10:27 PMAlready lost 2 of my close buddies to suicide. 1 happened just last yr
Both din ask to borrow money thou, troubled by other issues
I have 1 suicide due to football gambling
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 07, 2025, 11:02 PMI have 1 suicide due to football gambling
How u know? U all got a group?
moi bbfa nose frens
:flash:
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 07, 2025, 10:27 PMAlready lost 2 of my close buddies to suicide. 1 happened just last yr
Both din ask to borrow money thou, troubled by other issues
wah damn sian. sigh.
love or family issues?
my army group chat used to be really buzzing and noisy when we were in our 20s to early 30s. talking about everything and anything under the sun, everyone was always chatty. could go up to 200, 300 messages a day.
I noticed that it kept going quieter and quieter as we age. I guess everyone has had to deal with various issues - work, life, health, family...
I dont rly have a grp except chat here.
Im close but also not so close to many at work and play
Think i will slowly fade away. Including at work
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 08, 2025, 06:28 PMwah damn sian. sigh.
love or family issues?
Family and money I guess, probably a little bit of love too
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 08, 2025, 06:36 PMmy army group chat used to be really buzzing and noisy when we were in our 20s to early 30s. talking about everything and anything under the sun, everyone was always chatty. could go up to 200, 300 messages a day.
I noticed that it kept going quieter and quieter as we age. I guess everyone has had to deal with various issues - work, life, health, family...
Normal I guess. Even frens drift apart whatmore army mates
Near 60 members in my army groupchat but also damn quiet nowadays. 1 of them died in an accident just 2 yrs ago
Separately, lost 2 of my bmt mates to cancer. 1 quite a few yrs ago and another 1 just last yr
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 08, 2025, 06:36 PMmy army group chat used to be really buzzing and noisy when we were in our 20s to early 30s. talking about everything and anything under the sun, everyone was always chatty. could go up to 200, 300 messages a day.
I noticed that it kept going quieter and quieter as we age. I guess everyone has had to deal with various issues - work, life, health, family...
In life Friends come and go. I don't take this heavily now
honestly guys, it is important to have a couple of close friends to share issues with.
the problem with men is that we tend to internalise a lot of things. but our issues are real and we also need help, even it is just a listening ear.
that's why more men commit suicide than women.
just try to sound out, even on this forum.
Quote from: No guessing game on Jan 08, 2025, 06:51 PMIn life Friends come and go. I don't take this heavily now
Quality over quantity
It's a blessing to have even 1 buddy in one's lifetime, imo on par with finding a wife
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 08, 2025, 06:53 PMhonestly guys, it is important to have a couple of close friends to share issues with.
the problem with men is that we tend to internalise a lot of things. but our issues are real and we also need help, even it is just a listening ear.
that's why more men commit suicide than women.
just try to sound out, even on this forum.
Last time i talked too much out to people until i seem like a girl. Now im trying to internalise everything.
Frankly speaking other pple also got problems. Those that dont also wont care abt u (mostly) and u cant be sure the person u are telling, are actually on your side at work or play.
On surface im ok with pple at work but ive become very distrusting even tho nth much happened yet for now. Right now this very moment im feeling messed up abt work and life but things still have to be done.
U cannot expect friends or colleagues to be there for u. Sometimes not even family tbh. But family is why most people manage to hang on and stay alive
Serve And F*ckoff..
moi dun contact any one anymore ..
cant even leemember the names of those in moi bmt
:flash: :flash:
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:11 PMLast time i talked too much out to people until i seem like a girl. Now im trying to internalise everything.
Frankly speaking other pple also got problems. Those that dont also wont care abt u (mostly) and u cant be sure the person u are telling, are actually on your side at work or play.
On surface im ok with pple at work but ive become very distrusting even tho nth much happened yet for now. Right now this very moment im feeling messed up abt work and life but things still have to be done.
U cannot expect friends or colleagues to be there for u. Sometimes not even family tbh. But family is why most people manage to hang on and stay alive
ish the jhb hai chiu one rah.. gib chiu false hope
:frown:
im underweight but recently got sleeping and breathing issues also. maybe is eat too full.
but generally la, mood and happiness play a super big part on life. and whether u have family to cling on.
i dont know why being underweight im also starting to have belly (nv exercise) then my fucking arm is giving me tonnes of problems
and im facing a lot of issues at work.
im stuck in my role, responsibility and everything. like really stuck because im like a go-between but all sides not telling me the full story but hiding things from me and also giving reasons and excuses to not include me.
and then all expect me to know all requirements and translate to both sides when they nv give me full story.
then when succeed the biz side, IT side and management side all happy pat each others' back except mine
when shit happens, im the go-to person to be blamed
i want out of this place
oh look im whining again
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:11 PMLast time i talked too much out to people until i seem like a girl. Now im trying to internalise everything.
Frankly speaking other pple also got problems. Those that dont also wont care abt u (mostly) and u cant be sure the person u are telling, are actually on your side at work or play.
On surface im ok with pple at work but ive become very distrusting even tho nth much happened yet for now. Right now this very moment im feeling messed up abt work and life but things still have to be done.
U cannot expect friends or colleagues to be there for u. Sometimes not even family tbh. But family is why most people manage to hang on and stay alive
You overshare to anyone everyone that's why
Those not close to you definitely won't be concern or bothered about you lah
And of cos sometimes even close frens and family will also wont' be there for you and disappoint you but no man is an island. Better to have someone you trust
That's why I say having a good buddy in life is akin to finding a wife. Just one is enough, anything more is a blessing
Quote from: jim889 on Jan 08, 2025, 07:13 PMish the jhb hai chiu one rah.. gib chiu false hope
:frown:
stop talking abt the jhb la, she is past tense. u very funny leh that was like >8 mths ago
it's not her
false hopes everyone gives everyone else incl at work what, right now im talking about work and other aspects of life.
can stop bringing her into the topic?
Quote from: jim889 on Jan 08, 2025, 07:13 PMServe And F*ckoff..
moi dun contact any one anymore ..
cant even leemember the names of those in moi bmt
:flash: :flash:
We know
You dun have frens and those ppl dun want to be frens with you either
Even your wife divorced you
We know.
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:17 PMstop talking abt the jhb la, she is past tense. u very funny leh that was like >8 mths ago
it's not her
false hopes everyone gives everyone else incl at work what, right now im talking about work and other aspects of life.
can stop bringing her into the topic?
dun talk about jiu hu yin then talk about ceca bawu
:eek: :eek: :eek:
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 08, 2025, 07:17 PMYou overshare to anyone everyone that's why
Those not close to you definitely won't be concern or bothered about you lah
And of cos sometimes even close frens and family will also wont' be there for you and disappoint you but no man is an island. Better to have someone you trust
That's why I say having a good buddy in life is akin to finding a wife. Just one is enough, anything more is a blessing
ya but this one also depends on character.
you are right i overshare and over-rely on others. incl my mum
so in a way i stopped but sometimes i still do that, maybe online
but me being rly alone and no friends nor family and with a demented father and $$ issues and other issues is really me going at it all alone
my dad is rly the last piece of hope or wee bit of sanity to cling on to but the dr is saying things arent well
im rly going nuts tbh at work and in personal life
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 08, 2025, 07:18 PMWe know
You dun have frens and those ppl dun want to be frens with you either
Even your wife divorced you
We know.
really meh? i thought the divorced wife is a joke.
anyway not uncommon since 1/3 of marriages end up in divorce.
probably the other 1/3 or more is just putting up with each other....... in the past marriages were different because people had different expectations and goals in life and people were more willing to give in and give up on certain things and compromise and family values
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:21 PMreally meh? i thought the divorced wife is a joke.
anyway not uncommon since 1/3 of marriages end up in divorce.
probably the other 1/3 or more is just putting up with each other....... in the past marriages were different because people had different expectations and goals in life and people were more willing to give in and give up on certain things and compromise and family values
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 08, 2025, 07:18 PMWe know
You dun have frens and those ppl dun want to be frens with you either
Even your wife divorced you
We know.
lim peh MBA la..
Married But Avaliable
:flash: :flash: :flash:
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:19 PMya but this one also depends on character.
you are right i overshare and over-rely on others. incl my mum
so in a way i stopped but sometimes i still do that, maybe online
but me being rly alone and no friends nor family and with a demented father and $$ issues and other issues is really me going at it all alone
my dad is rly the last piece of hope or wee bit of sanity to cling on to but the dr is saying things arent well
im rly going nuts tbh at work and in personal life
I'm also bbfa that's why I'm here
Edmw/mm is your best fren :(
At least able to rant here
u know my cousin and my tua pek tua mmm lives besides me?
u know how shitty that is having to live with relatives super near and they know every shit u do and they always haolian abt how well they are doing going where and where and they got kids blah blah
and they have fully paid hdbs, condos and landed and play mahjong nxt door while i weep abt my dad and my pathetic life at home?
and im bullied into submission at work by colleagues higher ups and subs
and now my life/health is rly going downhill after that fucking elbow injury (now my shoulder feels pain)
fucking shit storm
frankly speaking i can tell u, i kena a lot more shit than others, those who know me will agree. really it's not even abt dwelling in shit
im in absolute shit pool. i try hard to pull myself up and i still get dragged down
Quote from: default on Jan 08, 2025, 07:16 PMim underweight but recently got sleeping and breathing issues also. maybe is eat too full.
but generally la, mood and happiness play a super big part on life. and whether u have family to cling on.
i dont know why being underweight im also starting to have belly (nv exercise) then my fucking arm is giving me tonnes of problems
and im facing a lot of issues at work.
im stuck in my role, responsibility and everything. like really stuck because im like a go-between but all sides not telling me the full story but hiding things from me and also giving reasons and excuses to not include me.
and then all expect me to know all requirements and translate to both sides when they nv give me full story.
then when succeed the biz side, IT side and management side all happy pat each others' back except mine
when shit happens, im the go-to person to be blamed
i want out of this place
oh look im whining again
it is ok to rant. just continue to work, bochup ppl and earn a wage, while looking around for another job. these people will come and go in your life. cannot bother too much. sometimes, it is the people you meet. heng suay one, not always you that is the problem.
right now im clicking on every damn job i see as fit and applying
moi every year also crisis
I feel that for a man if your job is quite stable, you are doing well, quite respected... then your life is about 60-70% happy.
Even if you hv love or family issues.
Of course health issues will be different.
Quote from: Keeptrucking on Jan 08, 2025, 10:20 PMI feel that for a man if your job is quite stable, you are doing well, quite respected... then your life is about 60-70% happy.
Even if you hv love or family issues.
Of course health issues will be different.
I know that money is extremely impt and job = livelihood
But I hope that more ppl will understand that a job or how much one earn doesn't validate a person in life
I known ppl who are jr managers but act like big shots and on the other hand, doctors who dun want ppl to address them as "dr" in public
Quote from: Arctic on Jan 08, 2025, 10:45 PMI know that money is extremely impt and job = livelihood
But I hope that more ppl will understand that a job or how much one earn doesn't validate a person in life
I known ppl who are jr managers but act like big shots and on the other hand, doctors who dun want ppl to address them as "dr" in public
some high flyer loh koon prefer to be called "Mr" :flash: